It happened AGAIN this morning! In my “just waking up” fog I stumbled into the bathroom and while brushing my teeth in the half dark room I glanced in the mirror and who was staring back at me but my Mother! This is startling at the very least because she has been gone for 8 years!
My Mother was a wonderful woman, very intelligent, very perceptive, and very sharp! She was witty and talented and was invited to teach at Cornell back in her day, a day when women were not often college bound! In all those ways I am nothing like her. I eked my way through college more interested in parties and my social life rather than politics, science and furthering my education! However, I am her spitting image!
This is something I do know, but somehow it STSOOM! In other words, when this happens, and it happens more and more these days, I am so startled that I might drop my toothbrush, or hairbrush or whatever it is I am doing. It doesn’t happen so much when the lights are on so maybe I should just bite the bullet in the early morning and turn them on rather than relying on the half light of the dawning sun.
If it really were my Mom, I would invite her to sit with me over a cup of coffee (a love we do share!) and tell again
all the wonderful tales of family I didn’t write down, or all the wisdom she had she tried to impart, or all her jokes that made us laugh.
Somehow, it is a bittersweet experience, this thinking my Mom is really in the same room even for a millisecond. She’s been gone 8 years, and I still think of calling her every Sunday just like before. I still miss her laughter and her dire warnings. I still miss HER. I suppose when this happens I should take that teeny moment in time and bless it because for just an instant, she is back with me. And that is a nice thought!